A diagnosis of autism always has an impact on parents and siblings. Parents may react with surprise, fear, helplessness, and a mixture of many other emotions. Parents may want to find out as much as they can about autism and to ask for information on causes, prognoses, and treatments.
A diagnosis may affect men and women differently. Mothers, who are often held more accountable for their child’s behavior than are fathers, may feel their emotional well-being is directly affected by a diagnosis. Women may be more inclined to share their feelings than fathers. Fathers may react more to the additional stress on their wives and families. An ASD diagnosis may affect both parents’ careers: the increased stress and anxiety may negatively affect their job performance, or create an increased stress related to earning potential.
As with any negative news about a child’s health, there is no “correct” reaction, no affect that a diagnosis of ASD is “supposed” to have on families.
There are, however, methods of coping effectively with the effect of autism on a family. Educating oneself about ASD is a positive step in learning how to manage behaviors and to make life as fulfilling as possible for both the affected child and the family. Connecting with other parents and support groups and seeking counseling may also be effective in helping parents to cope with a diagnosis.
Becoming active in your child’s treatment is another method of coping; many therapies can be reinforced at home and parental involvement in tracking behavior is essential to successful intervention.
Remembering to take time out for oneself is crucial since having a child with ASD can be emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. An autism diagnosis can cause a great deal of stress on the marital relationship, so parents need to take time to nurture that relationship in order to better nurture their children.
Siblings may pick up on others’ reactions to a sibling who has ASD. They may be afraid to ask questions, afraid that they will “catch” autism, and may be jealous of the attention focused on the affected sibling. Providing age-appropriate information about autism and remembering to spend one-on-one time with the normally developing child or children can be effective strategies for helping siblings to cope. Older siblings may benefit from attending support groups or becoming active is social organizations devoted to siblings of children with ASD.
It is important for parents to keep in mind that they are not alone and that their family is not the first or only to have been affected by an ASD diagnosis. Just as symptoms, behaviors, and the efficacy of treatments will vary from child to child, so will the affect of autism on a family. Figuring out what strategies work to minimize the negative impact on your family will help alleviate some of the stress and anxiety inherent in an ASD diagnosis.